they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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