in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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