Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
