Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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