Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
