so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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