I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize