My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
