girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
