I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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