FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
