I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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