If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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