margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
