just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
