3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize