You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
