I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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