I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
