Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My cat gives me a boner
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
