I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
