his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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