I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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