Betty ford says i'm here all night
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
