if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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