hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
