I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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