I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this just has baby written all over it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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