What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize