No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
