Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
