Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
