told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
