We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
