I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
