you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
