My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
