3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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