oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
