He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
