The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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