I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
