just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
