Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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