I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
