We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
