i need an iv and a liver transplant
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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