i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
