we're blogging at a bar
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
