I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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