Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
