I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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