And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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