dude i'm inner monologue high
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
