You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am mentally ready for anal.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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