kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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