Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
