So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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