I heard we made out
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
