I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
