How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
BRING THE BAGELS
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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