Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize