Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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