this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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