Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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