if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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