But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
