Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize