Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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