five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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