He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize