my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
