I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
