Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
