Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you never un-have a 4some
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize