textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
